You now have the tools necessary to change your body. It is never a bad idea to go back and check on your story to see if it needs refining. You can revisit any and all of the sections for revisions, tune-ups and to refine or change your goals. If you have made some changes already but feel as if you have stalled, you may want to go back and revise things to see where you might need to do some cleaning up. I have included some additional questions (see "Additional Questions" link below--also found in Bonus Material) you may want to ask yourself if you get stuck. Also, below are some simple suggestions as to how to use this process on other areas of your life.
A lot of things can come up and stand in your way of making progress as it pertains to getting to your goal. Below are some things to consider and questions to ask yourself to for further investigation as to what might still be standing in your way. (This information is taken from my first book The Thought Diet).
The negatives and positives/upsides and downsides
The first thing you may want to ask yourself would be, "What are the negatives and positives of getting to your goal?" Just as in the Upsides and Downsides exercise from section five and found in the Bonus Material section (see exercise in Bonus Section for expanded instructions), you could ask "What are the upsides and downsides of becoming leanegetting to your goal?" And then ask yourself, "What are the negatives and positives of not getting to your goal?" The negatives for getting to your goal and positives for not getting to your goal will be huge tap-able issues to work with. Of course, you can also ask "what are the upsides and downsides of not getting to your goal?"
Also, pay close attention to your positives of getting to your goal. More often than not, people will pick things they don't want. You want your attention to be on what you do want. Remember, your emotional system will tell you which focus feels good and what is inspiring.
Your body as a reflection
How does your weight (or your current "problem") serve you? If it doesn't serve you, why is it you haven't moved beyond your current weight or problem? If being thinner or being more fit (or being anywhere other than where you are)served you in a greater way, you would be moving in that direction. Does your weight (or current situation) protect you from something? If so, what?
What is your weight ("problem") hiding?
What is your weight ("problem") a reflection of, emotionally?
If your weight ("problem") is hiding a vulnerability or secret, does your weight ("problem") reflect something symbolically?
What would happen if you became leaner (or got to your goal)?
Are you comfortable with you (or your subject)?
Who are you with this extra weight (this "problem")?
What does the weight ("problem") represent?
If your fat ("problem") could tell you something, what would it say?
When you look in the mirror what do you see? What thoughts and emotions come up when you look at yourself in the mirror?
Once you have answered these questions, you could go back and ask "why" to all your answers. For example, if your answer to not being comfortable with you is "no", then figuring out why you are not comfortable or what you are not comfortable with will be more direct and clean up deeper issues surrounding that topic. It will be very helpful for you to identify three things in your answers: 1. What the focus is (the subject). 2. What the thoughts about your subject are. 3. What your emotional set point is.
How long have you been overeating? Is there history of overeating in your family? Why do you (or they) overeat? Just because you or someone else in your family has had this problem does not mean you have to continue accepting this as the way your life has to continue to unfold. Also note that you may have been taught to deal with your emotional discord by eating if that was the way someone else in your family handled it.
Are you an emotional eater? Do you use food to soothe yourself? What are you using food to soothe yourself for? What would you do if you weren't eating or obsessing over food? If you are soothing yourself with food, then food may not be the problem. The very thing you are soothing yourself for should be the focus of your tapping. I know, easier said than done. But if you start with simple, surface issues, you will find yourself moving deeper with ease. Another issue may be that you spend too much time either thinking about food or eating food. What would you do with the time if you weren't so obsessed with food?
You might also feel a sense of deprivation or loss if you were to stop eating the way you are eating now. If you have a sense of deprivation coming up for you, you might want to ask yourself where it is coming from. Are you filling a void with food? Are you validating yourself with food? Maybe rewarding yourself?
It will be easier to shift the negative blame and powerlessness when you understand that everything you have been doing has been under the guise of making yourself feel better and you didn't know any other options, like finding better feelings thoughts. You did the best you could with limited knowledge.
When do you have cravings and what do you crave? Pay attention to what feelings you have when thinking about those foods. Are there emotions attached to the food? If so, where in your body do you feel it when you think about those foods? What is the knot in your stomach, the tightness in your chest, your mouth salivating trying to tell you?
Have you ever been at a weight or size you were happy with? If so, did anything happen when you were at that weight or size? If you can you remember what that felt like to be there then you have huge ammunition to work with. This is great for affirmations. If you had something upsetting happen when you were at this weight, like sexual harassment, getting pregnant, losing a bra size or two, making others feel uncomfortable, or feeling guilty, then you now have things to tap on. Releasing these old issues will make it much easier to get back to that weight again without the worry or fear of the same thing happening.
Often when we have cravings it is because we are getting an emotional boost from the foods we are eating. We often need an emotional boost because we are experiencing a low moment. It could be anything from fear, insecurity, discouragement, or frustration, up to boredom. Maybe the best questions you can ask yourself are, "What am I trying to feel better from?" and "Can I feel better internally rather than reaching externally?"
Reducing Cravings With EFT
In the EFT process I used food craving as an alternate issue for your issue of focus during your first trial using the EFT process. If you have already attempted to do reduce your cravings with the EFT process, I would encourage you to find something else you crave or revisit the original craving worked on earlier and follow the steps below. If you haven't tried EFT on a food that you crave yet, try to get your hands on something that you know will increase your craving. Smell it, touch it, get your craving of it way up, but try not to eat it. Then start to tap on the actual craving right then.
Even though I crave this [particular food]...
See if your craving has gone down, and continue on until it is low enough not to want it at all. What you will most likely notice is that your piece of food will smell completely different to you. It will no longer appeal to your palate. More importantly, pay attention to the feelings you have when you have these cravings. Do they remind you of other feelings from your past? Pay attention to these issues, as they will help to clear your cravings on a deeper level. Once a craving disappears, the food in front of you will no longer be driven by emotion; it will now be a body nourishment need. You wonâ€™t lose the need to eat; you will remove the emotional connection to what drives you to want this food.
I might also add that many times when we have an emotional upset, we feel it our stomach area, and that is usually mistaken for hunger. This hunger usually leads to cravings. (You should have practiced identifying where you physically feel your emotions already; this was a mental exercise in section one). When I have clients tune into their emotions, and I ask them where they feel the emotion, they often tell me they feel it in their gut or stomach or abdomen. I then ask them if that sensation feels like hunger. At first they say no, but after further contemplation they usually can see how they would mistake this feeling for hunger.
Most of us are not that tuned into how our emotions make us feel physically. If we are not tuned in to how we feel physically when we experience negative emotion, we may not be able to discern between the physical sensation of an emotional upset and the feeling of hunger. Is your craving a mistaken emotional sensation? Are you trying to feed your emotion? If so, it will never be satisfied.
The next time you have a negative emotion see if you feel it in your stomach. Is it something you might have mistakenly taken as hunger? Also, the next time you become hungry ask yourself if it is an emotional sensation before you eat. See if you can identify anything that may be going on to cause some negative emotion. If this feels like an emotion rather than hunger, you now have something to work on in regard to EFT or of the other coaching techniques.
One huge place to look for obstacles is in your past. Here are some more examples this time of things that can come up from the past.
Has anyone ever made fun of your body? Has anyone ever told you were going to be fat all your life? Were you told that your genetics aren't that of a skinny person?
Are there traumas from your past that your use of food soothes? Have you used food to get over an issue?
Resentment and Failure
Other underlying issues are hidden resentments and fear of failing. If you have felt overweight for quite some time or have struggled to lose weight throughout your life, you might find yourself resenting those who don't have your problems, those who seem to eat everything they want and not gain an ounce or can lose weight easily. You might find yourself mocking or judging people who put too much attention on the physical. Or you might even feel resentment toward someone who thinks you should lose weight or who believes you would look much better at a different weight.
Any resentment toward others because of where they are (or want you to be) will stop you from achieving your goals.
Just know that it's hard to get something for yourself that you resent in someone else. And when you see someone who has what you want, it may help to work toward the perspective that they are the proof that it is possible to have what you want. If they can have it, why can't you?
Fear of failure may be another aspect keeping you from your goals. Maybe your parents expected perfection from you and this is your way of being free of that. Or you've always succeeded, and you can't tolerate the idea of not achieving your goal. It might help to look at how you did or didn't do things as a child. Chances are, those same attributes are still strong today.
Your Weight as an Indicator
Often your body weight is an indicator of something else (just as aches and pains can be indicators of something else). Whatever emotional feelings you have toward your body can very well be related to the same emotional standpoint of something in your life. Think of it this way--you have something going on in your life that has you feeling bad, but you do nothing to adjust your thoughts and your vibration. If you have done nothing to shift your vibration and continue to feel it over and over again, meaning you ignored your emotional indicator, then you will continue to get bigger and louder indicators. Since we are usually more perceptive to physical aches and pains and visual changes in our physical body, those once-emotional indicators will show up somewhere you will actually pay attention. But often we don't look at those physical indicators as having an emotional basis to them, so we only deal with them in the physical realm.
So let's assume that your weight gain is an indication of something else in your life trying to get your attention. Many times it's the small things in our life that has us feeling things in our bodies or causing negative changes in our appearance. One way to figure out where this links is to take a moment and figure out what emotion you are feeling about your body. Let's say you are frustrated with your belly. Look into your daily life and see if there is something that gets you frustrated consistently. Chances are there is something very close to you that you have yet to shift your perspective on that has you feeling the same emotion. Chances are, if you change your vibration on those subjects, meaning if you change the emotional indicators around those subjects, then your physical indicators (aches, pains, and body weight) will also change.
You may also want to think about what was happening at the time when you first starting noticing physical changes in your body--when you first started gaining weight. What was going on in your life then? How do you feel about those subjects now? It's like asking, "What got me here?" Chances are, if you never shifted the perspectives that were acquired back then, they are most likely right where you left them. Take some time to clean those old feeling up until you feel at peace about those subjects.
If you still have negative feelings about your body after you've cleaned up recent and old vibrations from your life, then cleaning up how you feel about your body now is much easier.
Using this process on other areas of your life
Now that you are fast on your way to changing your brain in regard to how you feel about your body, exercise, and nutrition, thus changing the way your body is programmed, you can now take these same principles and apply them to other areas of your life. Stress in other areas of your life can certainly have an impact on how well your body works, so learning to deal with those stresses is going to be important. The one thing to remember about all negative things in your life that cause you stress is that those things are helping you to get present to something that is important for you to experience in a different way. It's the "problems" in life that help us expand to new solutions, come to new conclusions, create new ideas, and become something more than we were before those things happened. They also help us shape our lives in a more specific and unique way, making each of our lives different.
With that said, you can make a list of things in your life that you are not happy with. It could be traffic, your boss, your lover, your finances, or your habits. It doesn't matter what it is, just make a list of the top ten or so things that bother you the most. You can use the space below to write that list out. This list will be saved in your resource center. Each time you decide to work on a new subject you will have an opportunity to label this subject and save all the things relating to it allowing you to revisit it and work on it independently of your other subjects. Information from each project will also be stored in the resource center.
Once you have your list, go back and start with the first question to understand your emotional set point. Then create the rest of your story. Once you have your story, it will be your job to coach yourself to a new story using one of the shifting techniques. (I prefer the EFT model in the beginning to help transition faster.) Note: if your subject doesn't relate to the changes you want to make with your body you will be skipping the education about how your mind affects your body since you are no longer trying to draw those connections. That is not to say that you couldn't see correlations between your emotional states in other areas of your life where you would create the same signaling of starvation that your negative point of focus in regard to your body caused. It is just to say that the mind-body connection is not the most important factor here if you are no longer tending to your body and health.
Once you are at peace (or close to at peace-like frustration) you can turn your attention to what you want. You will simply be using your once negative situation to create something new. This allows you to take advantage of the problem and create something that allows you to get more from life. In fact, if you don't do this with something that is a big "problem" in your life, you might be keeping yourself from the natural progression your life has helped you create. We are expanding and creating beings by nature, and there is nothing like a negative experience to help you expand and create. Not going toward this goal might create a sense of lack and deprivation simply by not moving toward what life has caused you to want. Remember, whenever you deem you have a problem your higher brain is searching for the solution. It is already moving in a progressive direction. If you don't get caught up with it you will be keeping yourself from your natural desire to grow and become more-the place your higher center is designed to go.
Follow the regular steps in creating what it is you want as an end result-the same way you did when figuring out what you wanted in regard to your body and health. Continue using the remainder of the exercises to help you create more chances for success by working on all the aspects of creating. Ultimately, your goal is to change the story surrounding your problem until you can talk about it in a way that allows you to be excited about what is coming. You can repeat this process as often as possible.
Sometimes you can take something that is lower than frustration and move right on to section four, but I would not suggest going any lower than anger since the lower you go, the less aware you are of what it is you do want. The only downside of this is if you have been practicing these old thoughts for a long time you might easily be brought back to those thoughts even though you have created an idea of what you want. The lower you are when you jump to section four, the more neural reconditioning you are going to have to do to change your old chronic habits of thought surrounding that subject.
Finally, sometimes we can get stuck trying to work on something that has bothered us for a long time. If you get stuck you might want to try the bonus shifting technique called "Time Travel" that is available once you click the "save" button below.